Twilight is read to Godzilla
by SomecallmeMichelle
Summary: The king of all monsters is faced with the ultimate weapon of mankind...The book Twilight by Stephanie Meyer. Rated T for swear words.


The air in the meeting room was tense. No two people shared the same opinion and their options were extreme. It seemed as if the use of nuclear weapons had only made things worse. The beast excelled in atomic environments, and it even had an atomic breath. Things were dire, dire and at their worse as it were. There was no way it could get any worse.

It did.

"Sir we just got reports. The Kaiju is plowing through the fields, decimating fields upon fields of wheat"

Things were at their worse, if they didn't do anything then the poor people of the country would have no food to eat. The general, which was denoted by his several stars in his lapel demanded a solution. Soon enough the beast would cross into cities and then the damages would be bigger than those shown in a blockbuster movie about a super powered hero. But the situation called for an immediate response.

"Think men , damn it! Think! What is even worse than the king of all monsters? What can cause more destruction, calamities. And screams of terror?" - He stared at the men (and women) in the room, as they all shrugged shoulders and cried swift and silents "I dunno". Who'd have guessed that the creature would decide to show up after there were several years of peace? Nobody was expecting it and the few weapons they had thrown their way had been ignored as if they were mere peas from a pea shooter. The creature didn't feel them or, if it did, it hadn't shown. There was no consensus. Nobody had a plan.

Finally one scrawny little man said something that gave everyone hope. He was there through pure nepotism, in no way a political or military leader, but he might have had the idea that would save them all. It was a do or die situation, nobody knew what to expect so his idea was accepted in a matter of seconds. Though what was there to say? Either it worked or it didn't.

This suggestion? The reading of the book series that had threatened to burn their eyes and annoyed countless people throughout the country, and the world. Loved by teens from all over. The reading of. Twilight.

A dramatic dun dun dun could have been heard, or at least they swore they did, as the sweaty man showed up his copy of the novel. It was new as he had bought it in the rush to show his magnificent plan to his superiors. But would it work? That was the question that everyone did ponder as they smiled.

It was it.

 **(DUN DUN DUN** )

The helicopter with the rotating blades pulled as close to the rampaging monster as it dared. The monster, like a mountain that moved with the intent and impact of a thousand bombs, and which every move shook the ground was magnificent It was also a pretty scary sight. The man who controlled the helicopter, the pilot, dared not move further. The creature seemed hell bent on destroying anything that that it approached, breathing atomic beams, which burned with an intensity and heat that made shielding the eyes a good idea. As well as his mighty arm and leg swings which had the strength of a fifty ton wrecking ball, or a series of tornadoes. Leaving nothing behind.

It was a truly desperate plan, and not one many people expected to work, but it was their only plan. The upside to the fact that the creature was so big was that it was also slow and heavy, though dangerous nonetheless, so the pilot could approach, though he silently prayed the blades wouldn't be heard. If the creature was so big, then it surely was no more than a mosquito buzz to it. Right?

He could only hope. The amplifier and microphone as well as the subwoofers and all that was used to spread sound were ready.

"Are you sure this is a good idea, boss?" - It was the old man that was talking, he had been in the military for some 40 years now, but he had never seen anything like this before. Who knew the koreans or the japanese, or whomever had this thing laying around? They had already been decimated.

"It's our only hope." - And he stopped what he was doing to do a quick prayer to the God of his choosing. - "After all, this is what we joined in for, protecting our people." - He took a deep breath and started reading.

"Chapter 1…"

At first it had no effect on the beast, though it could clearly hear them, it paid them no mind. It didn't really care what the underlings from below had to say. He could understand them, yes, but it was no goal of his, it was just the result of his upbringing in the deep sea. He tended to hear a lot of conversations carried from above.

Then he had realised that they were reading some sort of text. He still didn't crave to hear it, but the words carried through the wind nonetheless, entering his mind, he tried not to hear, but that wasn't set on happening.

As the story moved forwards he found himself incredibly annoyed and as the man in the tiny insect like device turned his page, he flinged at it, and swept the ground destroying a couple hundred meters of fields and one or two houses, as well as cattle and people. People had moved on to watch the spectacle, and were now paying the price for it. The king of all monsters didn't get it. How could a single human being be so self centered and fake? He was self centered yes, but he towered over every other creature and was superior to them. The king of monsters. The greatest of them all. He deserved the praise and the fear he got. But this creature? This silly worm? It had no right in being so proud.

He demolished buildings as well as people as they moved, if this is what the human race thought of themselves as, as well as their great epics, then they truly deserved to be destroyed. It pained him more than any weapon could how stupid and moronic the ideas sounded.

 **(crap)**

From the control room, the news were heard, the monster was now attacking with double or triple the intensity. The news were met with desolation and a sigh. The nepotistic man was called in and told of the news. His whole face went pale. He had fucked up. Truly.

"You're fired."

And so it was.

 **the end**

 **Author's notes: No offense to whomever likes twilight, this was a random idea I had while hearing music and I just had to write it. I shared some ideas with some friends, but it turned out in this. So. What did you think? Reviews?**


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